This week I finished Game of Thrones Season 5 and I do not think I’ll have as much to say about this season as I do about last season but some things definitely went down and I’m actually not sure I feel about them…

Let’s get right into it.

*Apologies in advance for any typos, missed words, etc. Also apologies for the length but I’d probably just read about the characters I’m interested in anyway*

Elevator Review

Season 5 is probably the most negative season overall… I feel like all of our main players end on a bad note. I can only think about one person who is doing well currently and that’s Lord Bolton. The people I care about most are dead, not whole, or in precarious positions at the end of Season 5 and I really just want to get to Season 6 now.

Characters

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Cersei Lannister

The season starts with a flashback to Cersei’s childhood… it shows her meeting a witch in the woods who tells her the future. She tells Cersei she’ll be queen for a time before she’s replaced by a younger, prettier one. She also tells Cersei her husband will have 20 kids, but she’ll have 3 and hints about the incest to come… Right off the bat they let me know that this season they’re going to want me to somehow feel sorry for Cersei and it didn’t work. This does explain her jealousy towards Sansa and Margaery however.

Back in the present she is blaming Jaime for Tyrion killing their father which then leads to him going on an impossible mission to retrieve their daughter from Dorne.

After Margaery flexes on her about sleeping with her son Cersei gets to work. She sends Lord Tyrell to Bravos on a diplomatic mission but it is clear to me immediately she just wants him away so she can get rid of his kids.

She recruits the aid of her cousin’s religious group “The Sparrows” and after a meeting with the High Septon she gives him the power to enforce religious laws in King’s Landing. They quickly are lead to arrest Loras for being gay and after a brief trial they actually end up arresting his sister (the Queen) for lying for him. The male prostitute says that he did lay with him and Margaery was not surprised to see them together.

Cersei shows up to see Margaery in prison and torments her… feeling good about herself until she goes to see the High Septon and he lets her know that her cousin Lancel told him about their time together (She just nasty.) He arrests her and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

From there we see Cersei slowly weaken (again, I’m unfazed) until finally she decides to confess. She does confess to laying with Lancel but rejects the idea of laying with her brother and him being the father of her children. Because of this the High Septon says she can go back to the Red Keep but that she has to “atone.” What happens is likely supposed to be an iconic scene that cements it for us that she deserves to get revenge but she earned it all in my eyes and I do not have any sympathy.

She has her hair cut and is forced to walk back to the castle butt ass naked through the streets while the townspeople call her whore’s, flash their junk at her, throw food at her. Her feet are destroyed and bloody by the time she gets home and nobody jumps to cover her except the bootleg Maester. When he covers her he gives her comforting words and then presents her with a gift… The Mountain is up and about though his eyes look crazy and he appears to be some type of murder zombie. Cersei seems to smile at this point so I assume she’ll be putting The Mountain to use in Season 6…

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Jaime Lannister

In the previous season I don’t remember if I mentioned it but Bronn was training Jaime how to fight now with his left hand and they’ve developed some sort of bond. Jaime enlists Bronn to come with him to Dorne to retrieve his daughter/niece with the promise of a better bride. On the way there they pass Tarth and Jaime thinks about Brienne… could this really still happen?

In Dorne… Jaime finally gets to fight a man and actually wins with the help of his golden hand and they just so happen to get to his daughter at the same time as a group of assassins who were looking to take her out (more on that later) and during their fight with the assassins they are captured.

Jaime convinces the Prince to let his daughter come home with him but he must take her groom-to-be with them. They still want the wedding to happen and Jaime agrees. Right as they leave Elaria Sand gives Mycella a huge kiss which had me immediately thinking she poisoned her and this was indeed the case. In an emotional scene Mycella tells Jaime she knows he’s her dad and gives him a hug and for the first time he gets to really feel like a father…. but then her nose starts to bleed and she dies in his arms. Combine this with what just happened to Cersei and I’m afraid of what’s to come.

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Sand Snakes

In the 4th episode of the season we are introduced to Prince Oberyn’s daugther(s?) the Sand Snakes and I see Colleen Wing out here among them which I wasn’t expecting. Elaria and the snakes want revenge for Prince Oberyn’s death so they plot on Mycella as mentioned above. They get captured, also as mentioned above, but not before they fight with Jaime and Bronn where Bronn is cut.

After teasing Bronn by showing him her body and making him say that she is the prettiest woman in the world, the youngest snake reveals that the knife she cut him with was poison tipped. After he admits her beauty she gives him the antidote… because she thinks he’s handsome.

Later, before Bronn gets on the boat she makes Bronn admit she’s the most beautiful woman in the world (I’m not here to debate her) again so there will likely be more to come here… Bronn is still the homie and we need the homies to win so I aint mad at him either.

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Daenerys Targaryen

Ah yes, Daenerys… In the first episode a new antagonist emerges for her as The Sons of Harpy slit the throat of an unsullied who was getting his scalp rubbed by the thickest woman to emerge in this show in a sexual fashion.

Grey worm and Daario later catch a Son of the Harpy and Daenerys is again faced witha tough decision. Selmy convinces her to have a trial but before the trial a former slave who has become a disciple of hers kills him. To punish him Daenerys executes him as he begs for mercy. This immediately causes those that were previously calling her mother to turn on her and now nobody likes her.

Early in the season we see that Daenerys and Daario is really happening and I feel like that’s kinda pointless but does come into play later when he’s jealous of the wealthy former master she promises to marry.

Tyrion arrives during the season (more on that later) and during their first private conversation he talks about how the person on the iron throne is like a spoke on a wheel. With each house being on top at some point. Daenerys says the line that she wants to “break the wheel” and this feels important.. I expect she plans to take out all who would oppose her.

Later, at the fighting pits that she has now reopened Daenerys is torn watching Jorah fight to try to impress her in the pits when he comes at her and throws a spear in her direction. It kills a son of Harpy and then in the stands shit gets wild as sons of harpy just start killing everybody. Daenerys, Missandei, Tyrion, Daario, Jorah, and several unsullied are surrounded when Drogon (who made an appearance early in the season) shows up and starts flaming Sons of Harpy. He is injured but not too injured to take Daenerys on his back and fly her to safety.

Later we see that he was pretty badly injured and Daenerys tries to get him to fly her back but he just wants to lick his wounds… instead of being patient she decides to wander off trying to figure out where she is when a large contingent of Dothraki magically appear and surround her so there’s no telling where she goes from here.

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Tyrion and Jorah

Tyrion and Varys spend a few episodes traveling and discussing their plan to go to Daenerys but they stop at a brothel and Jorah emerges and kidnaps Tyrion. He reveals his plan to delivery Tyrion to Daenerys so this ends up working out… sort of.

While they sail through Daenerys’ family’s destroyed city Tyrion sees Drogon for the first time right before they get ambushed by “Stone men.” Jorah becomes infected which I believe means he’s going to fade mentally at some point but it doesn’t occur right away and he is fine when the season ends.

Side note: I also realized this season that Jorah was the old Lord Commander of the Night Watch’s son.

They survive the ambush but get captured by Mr. Eko… I mean slavers. After some slick talk from Tyrion they are bought by someone who is looking for fighters for Daenerys’ fighting pits so, again, they play bad circumstances to their advantage.

Once at the pits Jorah sneaks out and wins a battle trying to impress Daenerys before Tyrion comes out and introduces himself. He convinces her to let him advise her and this deal starts to work out for the two of them. His first decision was to have Jorah removed from the city rather than killed as Daenerys wanted to do.

Jorah leaves and buys his way back into the pits to AGAIN try to impress Daenerys. She allows him to fight and again shows she cares about him… after a close brush with death he saves her life (see Daenerys section) and they fight together to defeat the Sons of Harpy until Drogon arrives and flies off with Daenerys.

Apparently there were few enough sons left for the rest of them to fight their way out because we next see them back in the main hall trying to figure out what to do. It is decided that Jorah and Daario will try to find Daenerys (should be an interesting dynamic) while Tyrion, Missandei, and Grey Worm run the city.

I do like what the show did here in having Daenerys struggle for so long and then having an expert politician like Tyrion show up to guide her. It’s a perfect fit and I’m curious where we go from here. As for Jorah, I expect he’ll die on this journey to find Daenerys or will have to be killed as the stone disease sets in… I guess we’ll see.

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Grey Worm

My man Grey Worm is still out here though for a day I wasn’t sure but lets stay chronological.

When the unsullied is killed in the brothel by the Son of Harpy Missandei asks Grey Worm why an unsullied would be in a brothel revealing that she is really hoping my mans is not wormless.

A few episodes later Sons of Harpy ambush several Unsullied and we see that one is Grey Worm. As Unsullied fall and Grey Worm’s predicament worsens after he is stabbed… Ser Selmy shows up and helps just enough to keep Grey Worm from sustaining further injury but unfortunately this is the end for Selmy.

As Grey Worm recovers Missandei stays by his side and when he comes to he confesses that when he thought he was going to die he was afraid… that he’d never see her face again (Awwwww.) At this point they kiss and I guess they’re a thing now and I aint mad at Big Worm either. My mens are killing it right now.

The last time we see them though… Grey Worm is trying to go with Daario and Jorah but they say he’s not strong enough yet. Daario jokes that he’s the bravest man with no balls he’s ever met and I felt some type of way about him saying this in front of Missandei but I ain’t gonna trip.

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Stannis and Shireen Baratheon

At the wall Stannis first tries to get Jon to convince Mance to kneel before him to join his army but when Mance won’t do it he he decides to set him on fire… cementing the fact that Mance’s army will not join him in his fight. This should have been foreshadowing but I just knew Stannis was gonna keep winning.

Stannis’ next play is to promise Jon that he’ll make him Jon Stark if he and the Night’s Watch join him in the attack on the Boltons but Jon won’t do it.

Meanwhile, Shireen spends time during the season teaching Gilly how to read and is just all around adorable. There’s a scene where Stannis gives her a beautiful speech that almost brought me to tears as she is the most innocent soul in the show… but the red woman decides she needs to be sacrificed and Stannis does so. His men are visibly upset during this scene and his wife even has a change of heart at the last second and tries to stop it.

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In the aftermath half of Stannis’ army (the mercenaries.. sell swords) leave overnight… after he gets this news he finds out that his wife has hung herself… aaaand while he’s having her cut down he gets a report that the Red Woman was seen riding out of camp.

Despite all of this he decides to march on toward Winterfell and his men then get attacked when they aren’t ready and are slaughtered… every single one. Stannis stumbles off into the woods where Brienne finds him and there are suddenly no more Baratheons…. (maybe Robert’s bastard is still out there?).

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Sansa Stark and Theon Greyjoy

Early in the season Brienne finds Sansa but Sansa rejects her help. She now completely trust Littlefinger and though I don’t like her I’m still annoyed enough to wish she had just gone… Littlefinger reveals that his plan is to marry her to Ramsay which I immediately know is a problem and she initially rejects because his father killed her brother buuuut she is pretty much trapped at this point and goes along with it.

After Sansa arrives, Ramsay’s current piece becomes jealous and takes her to see Theon. Theon is ashamed and Sansa hates him so this is just bad all the way around. They go through with the marriage, Reek (Theon) is forced to walk Sansa down the aisle and the night of the wedding… Ramsay rapes Sansa and makes Theon watch.

Ramsay proceeds to keep her locked up in the room and basically just comes in to rape her nightly.

In her desperation Sansa tries to get Theon to send a message for her by telling him to light a candle in the broken tower. Buuuut he tells Ramsay who then kills the old lady that had told Sansa she had friends in the North and to light the candle if she was ever in trouble.

Theon later tells Sansa he didn’t kill her brothers so she has some hope again for a second… she later goes to light the candle but this occurs as Stannis’ troops march so Brienne gets distracted and doesn’t see it. As she leaves Ramsay’s girl greets her with Theon and an arrow but just as she’s about to injure Sansa, Theon suddenly gets some balls (pun intended) and throws the girl off of the ledge and kills her. The last we see of the two they are jumping over the wall and out of Winterfell. I guess this was not going to be the end for Theon and perhaps they run into Brienne? or end up at the wall.

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Brienne of Tarth

This season basically just let us know Brienne still exists. After she saves Pod’s ass in a dust up with Littlefinger’s men she agrees to train him to fight. She vows to kill Stannis and says that just because Sansa turned her down doesn’t mean she’s released from her oath to protect her. She was the one that passed the message along that Sansa just has to light a candle if she’s in trouble and Brienne checks daily for it. However, when Pod tells her Stannis is marching… she leaves her post right before Sansa lights the candle.

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Arya Stark

Arya arrives in Bravos and is rejected at the house of white and black where she is taken. She waits a few days before giving up and wandering the streets of Bravos. Eventually she is brought back by the old man who was at the door of the house of white and black who then reveals himself as Jagen Hagar. He tells her she must become “no one” and this is all very exciting to me.

Arya is forced to remove the things that make her Arya but she can’t get rid of her sword and hides it. She proceeds to continue to struggle to accept her tasks but eventually she does pass the tests and gets put into the field where she quickly finds a mission.

However, she sees Meryn Trant (with Lord Tyrell in Bravos) who killed Syrio and gets sidetracked trying to take him down. It turns out he likes to beat little girls and she uses this to set him up. She stabs out both of his eyes before letting him know who she is… then she slits his throat before heading back to Jagen who knows what she did. His punishment for her is blindness and this is the last we see of her in the season… Im assuming she doesn’t remain this way but dang man.

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Sam Tarley

This was an interesting season for Sam that starts with Stannis telling him to keep reading up about the White Walkers. Later he gets beat up trying to keep Gilly from being raped and she rewards him by uh… breaking his oath.

I believe his action to get Jon elected as Lord Commander leads to Jon’s fate but we’ll get to that later…. The old Maester (Aemon Targaryen) dies in Sam’s arms and now they don’t have one at the wall.

After getting beat up and realizing he can’t protect Gilly Sam decides that he will go to The Citadel(?) to study to become a Maester and this makes sense to me.

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Jon Snow

Jon’s hot streak with me continues early in the season and really throughout… When Stannis burns Mance, Jon puts an arrow through his heart just before he starts to scream to preserve his dignity in death which Mance was concerned with.

When Sam speaks up to get Jon into the running for Lord Commander it is the Maester’s vote that puts Jon over the top.

The leader who cowered with Gilly during the battle last season refuses the duty Jon assigns him to and Jon beheads him to show his strength and unlike Daenerys’ beheading this one was necessary.

Jon and Tormund go North of the wall to try to convince the wildlings to come South of the wall but they don’t trust him and only half agree to go. Of course as they are boarding the boats the white walkers attack. Jon’s sword causes a walker to shatter and so now we know Dragon glass AND Valaryian steel can do this. Now we know why Brienne’s sword and Tommen’s remain important.

As they escape Jon and Tormund are emotional as they watch their men die. Just before the Ice King shows off that those men are now his…

Back at the wall Olly tricks Jon into running out in what turns out to be an ambush. The men against Jon take turns stabbing him with Olly, who I am reminded had his mother killed by Ygritte, lands the death blow…

Hol up Jon Snow is dead??? That can’t be right? Right? Lord of the Light must be ready to slide through… The red woman is on site so it could happen. Otherwise I’m mad confused.

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Ice King

We finally see him in action and he definitely is not playing games. He watches Jon, peeps that his sword can kill his men, and then goes all in on forcing them out. As Jon and co sail off he flexes by having all of the men they just killed rise as part of his army. It’s an epic visual (one I’ve seen a million times in commercials) but also shows that the fight to come is going to be craaaaaazy.

Overall

This is the worst rated season but I don’t think anybody can say it was bad. We accomplished a few things here. First, we got to see the white walker army in action. Stannis is now dead at the hands of Brienne. Arya got to cross another name off of her list though she is now blind. Jon became Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch just to be stabbed by his own men. Tyrion is now with Daenerys though she is actually missing currently… Grey Worm and Missandei are a thing for real now. Theon saved Sansa and now they’re on the run. Cersei was humiliated and the infamous season 6 could go a million ways. People have been saying “wait until season 6” forever so I’m glad to finally be here. I expect it will live up to the hype.

Under 4000 words! Ayeeeeee!

Thanks again for your time and for the read.

-Bibs

Game of Thrones: Season 4 Recap

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